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Please don't remind me that I'm poor; I'm having too much fun pretending I'm simply "living green" like everyone else these days.


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Too obsessed

The phone rings and I answer.

Daughter says..... Hi Mom, what'cha doing?

I say.... making garbage.

Daughter says.... Huh?

I say (with a little giggle).....  Sorting things that can be thrown away.

Maybe I'm being a little too fanatic about cleaning my house these days?

Maybe a little too obsessed with organizing and food preserving?

Maybe I'm a tad too worried about knowing where to find the things I need, when I need them?

Maybe I'm just a bit too much into doing frugal cooking again?

Please understand;  I've spent far too many years thinking of the quilting customers first.  Customers came before my own life and family.  This year, for the first time in a lot of years, I actually have time for cooking and cleaning instead of working 16 hour days right up until Christmas day while at the same time telling my friends and family..... I can't.  I actually have time to leisurely create a charity quilt or two.

I firmly believe the more organized my home is..... the better quilter and person I am.  The less time I spend with finding something.... the more time I have for using it.  Which is why I work so hard at trying to stay organized. 

My professional machine quilting career started out innocently enough.  I started my career in a time when very few people wanted their tops quilted by machine.  (1981)  Machine quilting had not gotten the recognition it has today as being a good thing. 

Gradually, over the years, machine quilting started getting accepted and I got better at it.  More customers came to me and my customer base grew every year.  I got busier and busier.  I started telling my friends and family I had to finish the quilts first when someone asked me to spend time with them.  One by one the customers became the focus of my life instead of what's really important. 

I neglected my health.  I stopped doing frugal things.  I forgot about my dreams.  Every year I focused more and more on being a fantastic machine quilter and let my life slip away from me. 

About three or four years ago I began to wake up to reality when my daughter said "Mom, quilting is your life."  It was then I realized not only had I not spent time with my kids for years; but, my grand kids and great grand kids were growing up and they don't know me.  Sure they know I'm Granny but they don't really know me.  

That's when I announced my semi-retirement from professional machine quilting.  I have only 4 customers now.   They bring me enough income I can afford to eat and keep the roof over my head.  I'm eating better without spending a lot.  My health improved immediately.  I'm clearing out a lot of clutter because I want a simpler life.  Not just physical house clutter but mind clutter as well.  I want a life that includes my kids, grand kids, great grand kids, and my real friends. 

To be continued....


kathi said...

i LOVE it. i love to hear you FINALLY reached YOUR goal of being YOU again, and not "that lady chained to the quilting machine".. BIG CONGRATS and HUGS.

jillyヅ said...

I couldn't have said it better. I have been feeling that way about my etsy shop, and its just a destash shop. I feel as if my hubby and myself always come after the shop, the cleaning, the decluttering, the painting.