Let me tell you a little history first.
On more than one occasion I've gotten a phone call telling me that my child has passed away. To get one phone call that one child is taken from me was very hard. To get a second call that a child has died is devastating. To get a phone call that a third child has died is like you'll never catch your breath again. Each time it happens it's like your heart is ripped right out of your chest and you don't want to live anymore. Unless you are a very uncaring mother, the death of a child is something you never get over. You learn to live but you never, ever get over it.
Flash forward to last Monday. My daughter calls me while she and Ladybug are going down the road on the expressway. My daughter tells me she is feeling very drowsy from new medication she's on. We don't talk long because she wants to concentrate on her driving. Like any mother would be.... I'm worried. I tell her to call me as soon as she get there so I know she's alright. I say a prayer that both of them will get there safe.
A while later; the next phone call I get I'm expecting my daughter to tell me she and Ladybug arrived just fine. Instead it's someone claiming to be an operator with a collect phone call from my daughter. The woman gives my daughter's name. The woman says my daughter has been in a bad accident and is in the hospital. The woman says that since I don't have long distance on my phone she needs a credit card to accept the charges. My mind is going numb as I start praying..... God, please don't do this again. I can't loose another child. The woman on the phone has other personal information as well and doesn't hesitate telling it to me.
I know something is just not right when the woman asks for a credit card. Yet, I don't want to take the chance that my daughter could be taken from me without a last chance to talk to her. I don't hesitate for a second giving the woman my credit card number. If you were in my circumstances.... would you hesitate? A credit card is only money and it can be replaced. A child can not be replaced.
When I heard the dial tone on the phone I knew I had been had. I call my daughter to verify she and Ladybug are fine. Then, I break down to cry with relief. I say a prayer to God thanking him. Now I'm angry! How dare that woman be so cruel? There is only one place she could have gotten all the information that she had and that's from my blogs. If she took the time to get all that scattered information then she would have known about my deceased children too. That's what she used to get me to give her my credit card number.
I know that the banks are not going to pursue a credit card theft but an individual CAN. I won't go into details about that until after the woman is arrested. I don't want to give her information that could help her in any way to get away with it. There is only one way to stop me from pursuing criminal charges against this woman and I'm sure she will figure it out eventually. Maybe before she is arrested and maybe not.
I've lived a great many years in the ghetto. Life around gangs and prostitution and drugs and gun toting children will teach a person many things. The first thing you learn is that life can take one of two paths. For good or for evil. I choose to live for good. Even among all the bad things that happen around me.
I have hopes of seeing my deceased children again someday when it's my turn to leave this world. I started doing all the good deeds I could to build up what I called "angel points". My blogs were just another way of helping others because I had things to share that would be helpful in these economic times. As the saying goes.... no good deed goes unpunished.
Will I ever blog again? Right now I'm not sure if I will. I've already blogged more additional posts than I intened to. I'm simply answering remaining questions. I made no money from my blogs. It actually cost me quite a lot to keep blogging. I paid for photo storage. I paid for internet. I took time away from quilting to write. I took time away from friends and family to write. It cost me a lot to be helpful.
I can still write my journal for my decendants. I don't have to make it public knowledge through a blog. At different times through the day I find myself thinking..... this would make a great blog article.... then I realize it might bite me in the butt later. I'm keeping my blog for now. I may change my mind later IF I figure out how to make it better. Right now it's a clean slate just like a clean new paper journal. All the posts are gone. An opportunity for starting over. BUT...... do I want to?