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Please don't remind me that I'm poor; I'm having too much fun pretending I'm simply "living green" like everyone else these days.


Saturday, May 22, 2010

My garden

My little side-yard garden is taking shape a bit at a time.  I got the pieces made that will hold the string supports.  The pvc pipe is quite flimsy so I may change these before my plants get big enough to climb.  That's why there aren't any strings yet and why I have it attached to the side of the house.  I'm thinking about it for a few days before doing more to it.  I'm thinking I should get some fence posts which will be sturdy.  My plants will get put into the ground this weekend or on Monday, depending on the time I have for working outside.

One more day and I can start getting my own routines back.....maybe.  I will be with an empty nest once again.  This time won't be nearly as hard to handle as the first time.  This time I'm proud that my daughter has her own house.  She's put down her roots and started making her own nest. 

My mother has decided to go on a hunger strike at the hospital.  She's also refused to take her medications.  That's not good for an insulin dependant diabetic.  I just don't know what to do about her anymore.  She's becoming increasingly angry and abusive to other patients at the nursing home.  She hurts people.  She runs over their feet with her wheelchair on purpose.  She sneaks up on people and hits them or throws things.  She sneaks into patient rooms and tries to hurt the bedridden patients.  She's started hitting or biting the staff. She is then sent to the hospital where she can only stay 14 days and then she's sent to another hospital where she stays 14 days to be sent back to the nursing home.  The cycle is then started over.

Each time she is transferred to another place they change her medications....again.  On average the medications are changed every 14 days.  After about 60 years of taking different medications, the meds have lost their ability to control her anger and psychotic episodes.  The dilusions are getting much worse.  The times between are much shorter.  At most she is her normal self for only a day or a few hours.

Her anger is quite often taken out on me over the phone.  I'm much too old to let someone abuse me even over the phone.  I take up for myself and then feel guilty about it because I know she can't help herself.  This makes the rest of my day very unpleasant.  I feel very sorry for the nursing home staff that must deal with her hour after hour and day after day.  I can barely handle a few minutes on the phone dealing with the anger.

It's becoming more and more likely she may need to be sent out of state to another facility that's better equipped to handle her.  She will need much more supervision than the current nursing home can provide.  I think it's time for my brother and I to get educated (on the only available nursing facilities) so we will be prepared to make that decision. 


Quiltin' LibraryLady said...

I feel bad for you over the situation with your mother. But there is only so much you can do. When she gets abusive on the phone just hang up. Arguing with her isn't doing you any good. My best suggestion is to take the staff some goodies. Tell them you feel bad about your mother's behavior & you hope the treats will at least brighten their day a little. YOU are NOT responsible for your mother's behavior. Try to keep your spirits up.

kathi said...

so glad to see your garden getting a start. David has panted the tomatoe plants. and seeds of beans, carrots. green onions, and a ton of marigolds. i think he is going to try to surround the place with marigolds. giggle. But very sad to hear your mother is worsening. I know how much you love her, but i also know how difficult it is to deal with her this way. yes, the out of state home may be exactly what both of you need.
sending love and hugs.

lw said...

I'm sorry that having your mother closer doesn't seem to be working out. What a heartbreaking situation.

I like LibraryLady's idea about taking the staff some goodies. I'll be praying for you.

Anita Estes said...

The trouble with hanging up on my mother is that she calls repeatedly until she gets it out of her system. If I don't deal with her then the staff gets it all. OR she starts calling the police, FBI, CIA, the mayor, the representative, or anyone else that she believes will help her.

She has the numbers memorized. That's one thing that hasn't been affected by her demtia.

Then those people are bound by law to check out her story which is of course all in her head. Then they start calling me and telling me to DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR MOTHER.

Anita Estes said...

Thanks Kathi. Hmm.... David must know how much you love yellow flowers.