Back at work

The medications I've been on have had me sleeping around the clock for the past 3 days.  I've gotten out of bed only long enough to drink something so I would stay hydrated.  The doctor did give me warning the medications would make me sleep and she was very right. 

I ventured out yesterday evening for a short walk around my yard.  I need to get my strength back before I do too much.  I did get a second harvest from my little square foot garden.  These were for dinner last night. 

I also discovered I had a few visitors in my kitchen.  I thought my stove was clean but apparently there is something on it attracting these.  They are so tiny it's really hard to see them. 

I put out something I hope they find more attractive than my stove. 

This is what the sky looked like just after my walk around the yard.  It looks worse than it was in my area.  We got lots more rain during the night and this morning than we got from this.  It passed through quickly leaving only a sprinkle.

I'm getting back onto the quilting machine for a little while today.  

The holiday is over

I hope everyone had a great holiday!  It was neighborhood picnic day here.  You can just barely see it but the next block was closed off for kid things like a jumping station and a water slide.  Just past that block is the park where there was music, food, and other stuff.

It was too hot for me so I didn't walk down there.  My neighbors described everything for me.  Later there was fireworks..... lots and lots of fireworks!  They started about 9 and went on until about 12.  

I like the shape of the one in the background of this picture.  Looks sort of like a mariner's compus quilt with the triangular shapes.  You can see the shape better if you enlarge it.

It was after midnight before things started to quiet down.  No roofs were set on fire this year thank goodness.  I sure hope the kids have used all the cherry bombs!  I'm tired of hearing the loud booms like there is an explosion.  Ok, it was fun for the kids.  I'm really glad they had their fun.  If I were a kid again I would like the bombs too.  Just not so many right outside my window.  I'm hopefull there won't be any more bombs until next year.  My ears may stop ringing by that time.

 

My mother again

I'm venting today. 

She's at it again.  This time it's been going on for two days almost non-stop.  Day and night phone calls.  The stress she creates is almost unbearable sometimes.  I can't think, I can't work, and I can't hold a normal conversation with anyone.   My mind seems to just shut down.  I want to run away and hide from everything.  For each one phone call I get from her, it takes me a week to recover my own balance and peace of mind. 

It's just terribly wrong for me to keep letting her do this to me over and over again.  Actually, I can't figure out WHY I let it happen to me so much.  I'm just as guilty of letting her stress me out as she is guilty for doing it.  Each time I answer the phone I'm really hoping it will be a normal mother daughter conversation instead of a shouting match.  When a nurse at the nursing home calls, and without asking me if it's ok, puts my mother on the phone, they are putting me on the spot.  Not giving me an option to NOT answer the phone if it's my mother.  Each time the phone rings there is a one in ten chance that I will get the normal instead of the abusive conversation.  I have better luck playing the lottery. 

I can't get my mother to understand she's not able to take care of herself anymore.  Her response is always.... "Why can't I take care of myself?"  In her mind she is still 30 years old and can do whatever she wants.  All the years of drug abuse has seriously taken it's toll.  One fourth of the time she's ok and the other three quarters of the time it's as if she's tweeking and searching for the next fix.  I get the blame when she can't get her fix the same as if I were the abused child again. 

When she tells me that I'm the one who put her "in that prison" I want to tell the nursing home to open the doors and let her go.  Whatever happens to her happens.  I don't want to know about it!

Did I ever say that my mother has been a drug addict and a mental patient for over 60 years?  Yup, all those years.  I have been her guardian since I was 6 years old.  Not officially, of course.  I didn't become an official guardian until I was 18.  At 6 years old I learned to change diapers and mix formula for my 2 week old sister.  I learned to cook oatmeal for my bother and myself and how to wash diapers.  The only time I got relief from the abuse was when I was lucky enough to get placed into an orphanage or go stay with a relative for a few weeks.  Each time my mother was placed in a mental facility "to even out" as they called it, we got placed somewhere.  When she got better we were given back to her. 

In those days it was much easier for parents to get children out of foster care than it is today.  My happiest memories were when I stayed with my grandparents where I learned to work hard and have fun while doing it.  There were no worries about abuse at their house.

I fall victim to my mother's abuse even after all these years and all the determination to NOT be a victim anymore.  She knows exactly how to sneak up on me as sweet and nice as I always hoped she would be.... then WHAM!  she gets me every time. 

I've bought a new answering machine again and instructed the nursing home staff that I won't take any more calls.  If there is an emergency, I'll have to call them back.  They are NOT to call me to try to calm her down.  They are the professionals, not me.  If they can't handle her then they should send her someplace that can!

I don't want to take the abuse anymore.... period!  I think I can get back to work now.

Hmm.... I wonder how many restful days I'll actually get before she sneaks up on me again?  It will happen you know?  I'll get relaxed and moving in my grove when she'll sneak in again.

Busting the stash

I didn't get the quilt on the machine finished.  I only got about half way through it when I decided it was time to do something else.   The thought of all the fabrics I have.... just waiting to be used.... was intruding on my mind.  Who says a fabric stash has to be used for quilts?  Not me.  So, I've decided to use some of it for other clothes too.  I've already used some of it for making my undies so why not other clothes? 

I can rationalize time away from the machine when I have to.  (hee hee)  I pulled out some t-shirt scraps and quilting fabrics.

Then started cutting out an outfit for Ladybug. 

I'll put this one together before cutting out more.  I want to know my measurements are correct and it fits her before any more cutting.  The sewing will have to wait for another day though.  Today I'll be shopping with my SIL. She has a doctor appointment on Friday so we are going today.  I also need to go to the fabric store and get some pretty lacey trim or maybe some rick rack to go on it.  Sewing for a little girl again is going to be such fun!  Especially when I have soooo much fabric to choose from.  It's gonna be a great stash buster.

Is it Monday already?

Geeze, where did the weekend go?  Time passes too quickly these days.  The next quilt is on the machine and stabelized.  I hope to have it finished this week.

Ladybug was with not the mommie yesterday.  I spent almost all day working on my computer.  I didn't realize it; but, I had almost 3,000 photos on this computer. 
Well no wonder it ran so slow.  I deleted out well over half of them because I no longer needed them.  Mostly daily journal type and duplicate photos.  I tried my best to learn about photoshop too.  I managed to get all the remaining photos into a catalog.  That's as far as I got though.  I wanted to learn more about putting captions with the photos.  It got a bit complicated reading the book for help so I quit.  I'll have more time for learning when the house is mine again. 

The computer still runs slow when I'm working on the internet.  I think my modem might be getting too old.  I ran the virus scan software but it didn't help speed things up.  The computer isn't slow when working with any of the other stuff, just the internet. 

I also worked on patterns for Ladybug some new clothes.  This time instead of making my own patterns I traced out a couple of packaged ones. 

Tracing and making adjustments on heavier paper is much better than working with the pattern tissue paper.  Tissue paper is too flimsy and tears too easily.  With Ladybug back at daycare I hope to get several things accomplished this week starting with the quilt on the machine.  I do things that are too dangerous for her to be around while she's away and save things we can do together for when she gets home.  She's far too curious and her hands much too quick for some activities. 

I guess if I'm going to get things done I best get off the computer to get started. 

Cleaning in bright light

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It's amazing! I love the brightness of the new lights. Oops, all the bright light really showed all the dust bunnies. When the house was too dark to see, those little buggers seemed to multiply beyond belief.




They show up in the oddest of places. Like this bunch of dust bunnies on the end of the curtain rod. Odd, very odd place to multiply.

My weekend was filled with swiffering the walls, then washing off dirty paw prints. It was a little sad to wash the spot under the window. The last reminder of my furkid Franklin who passed last Xmas eve. I shed a few tears, remembering how he used to stand on his hind legs and lean against the wall to look out the window. I kept telling myself; "the object is not the memory". The memory of him is in my heart along with those of my sons. Then I washed it all away. He wouldn't have liked the new view out the window. A house now sits where the neighborhood kids used to play games.

I moved on to other things like putting plastic on the window. Washing and rehanging the curtains. Washing woodwork, cabinets, and appliances.

I spent quite a lot of time trying to figure out what's wrong with my internet. For some odd reason it got into a loop and kept opening the same page over and over and over again. Nothing would stop it. I couldn't disconnect. I couldn't turn the computer off. It got frustrating so I pulled the power cord out of the outlet.

When I plugged it back up everything was fine. This morning my email won't work. I get a message that the site can't be found. It must be ATT working to make our life more miserable with upgrades and changes. The count I had of opened pages was at about 40 when I pulled the plug.

I have lots more work to do around the house before the move in. I have very sore muscles. Gee, I hurt in places I forgot I had. My daughter has been busy at her place packing and choosing what will be brought here, what to donate, and what will be in storage.

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I'm getting back on the quilting machine today. It feels really good to have a normal 5 day work week again.

Home improvements

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Ok, the day was filled with MOVING STUFF. I'm so tired of moving stuff! The reward of moving all the stuff is very worth the effort. This had to be replaced.





There were 4 of these replaced.

The stove hood was replaced. It quit working about 10 years ago. I thought it was only about 5 years ago but my daughter said it was a year or two before she graduated high school in 2000.

See how old the masking tape is on the on/off button?

I got started moving stuff. Got all the batting and rollie carts moved.

Rollie carts went into what will be my daughter's room.

I didn't get my groceries put away so those went into the bedroom too.... for now.

Then lower the machine onto it's wheels and move it out of the way.

The electrician started with the light that goes above the machine then went to the kitchen to work while I moved stuff to the other side of the room. Here's the light that replaced the round one. Umm... now I need to paint the ugly spot on the ceiling. That will happen later..... much later.

I didn't take any more photos of the work. I was too busy moving stuff around so he could keep moving. When he was done it was almost like bright sunshine in both rooms. Fantastic!

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It did take all I had saved plus my change jar money but it's worth it. The cost was $250 labor and $375 for fixtures. This guy earns about $100 an hour.... I think I went into the wrong profession! It's still worth the cost.

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Oh gee whiz, now all the dust bunnies and finger prints show up extra well. Cleaning was much easier when it was too dark to see anything. Hmm... I guess I best get started moving stuff back where it belongs... again. I didn't get to it yesterday because my brother and SIL wanted me to go with them to Goodwill and out for dinner. He's doing much better now that he's going to group therapy sessions for PTSD people. He's learning how to cope with the flashbacks and stress.

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Ladybug and me

Sunday was busy again getting stuff moved, shoved, crammed, etc. A lot got carted out to the alley for junk day which is today. That's one of the reasons for such a rush to get things done over the weekend. The next junk day won't be until spring.

For a little while I had company. Here she is playing with the white board. She still can't make up her mind which hand to write with. Here she has a pen in the right hand with a napkin to erase with in the left.

Then she switches to use the left hand to write with and the eraser in the right hand.

While she was busy with that I took off the dress she was wearing and used it to draw a pattern. Once Ladybug left and the day's junk hauling was done, I decided to start making the dress.

It's made from left over t-shirt backs of course. I didn't quite get it finished. It can wait until next weekend. Adding a decorative stitch really made it pop. The color is bright neon orange.

Today I get back onto the quilting machine for a week of work. I tell you.... it feels really satisfying to have a normal work week again. My stress level is so much lower than it's been over the last few years. I still can't simply sit idle but the enjoyment is back.

Is it ok for me to panic?

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I'm still working on this quilt. Did I say lots of stitch in the ditch? Yup, there is.



I had several people stop by yesterday too. I got the "ok to finish" on the three necktie quilts. I gave away a couple of my rug frames and they were picked up. The rest of the quilting books were picked up by three separate people. My baby came home too. Doesn't she look pretty?

She has new wiring and a complete going over. I got a new cording foot too. This repair guy is fantastic. Very reasonably priced as well.

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I took a little trip down memory lane on my blogs. I went back and read some of the oldest posts. It's very interesting to go back and see all the things going on and all the changes I've made in my life while blogging. I've always kept a journal and sometimes I read those, but the blogs have pictures. A captured moment in time. I can see the struggles with organizing and all the dust bunnies I've dealt with.

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A few weeks ago I was forced to remove some of the oldest posts because I had gotten up to the limit of 500 posts. Well, I'm almost up to 500 again. Time to remove some of the oldest again. It's a lot easier to remove posts on this blog than it is on the other one. On this blog I don't mind printing the posts out and putting them into a binder. It's the other blog that I don't like deleting information that could be useful to someone searching for information.

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While traveling down blogging memory lane it suddenly popped into my mind.... my daughter and grand daughter will be moving in here in only a couple of weeks. PANIC! Lots of things must be done in the next couple of weeks. I've got to get myself moving a little faster to get things ready. I took a walk through the house making notes of things I must get done. It won't be easy continuing to quilt, creating winter crafts to save energy, and moving stuff all at the same time... but nothing to do but to do it. Somehow it will all get done. Oh gosh, Thanksgiving is this month too. Now it's time for a real panic attack. I best get started right away.

Another quilt done

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Yippie! I got another quilt finished.... finally.



Coming up with a design to quilt on it was a little difficult. Nothing seemed to jump out at me as sometimes happens while looking at a top. It took some stand and stare time before coming up with something that worked.

I decided to treat the pieces as groups rather than individual. For example these two pieces became one unit which gave me more flexibility in choosing a design.

Then these three pieces became one unit which gave me another design to use.

Then of course this was one unit already.

I did a heart shaped leaf design on the borders.

I hope you can see all the designs. The batteries for my camera are getting old. I've recharged them so many times that they don't hold the charge anymore. I have new batteries on my list for next grocery day. Clicking on the pictures to make them larger should let you see the stitching details much better.

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I don't know what's been wrong with me the last four or five days. I've slept and slept and slept. No fever or illness.... just incredibly sleepy. I think its my body's way of recovering from all the stress I've had over the past few months. My mother, my brother, my house, etc. Yesterday I was up long enough to put some greens in the freezer. Today I was awake long enough to finish the quilt before taking a long nap. I feel awfully lazy when I can't get a lot done in a day. Maybe it's my age or something but I can't multi-task as well as I used to.

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My daughter reminded me that I've not been taking my vitamins or iron tablets for awhile. Maybe taking these again will help. I'm going to the courthouse in a couple of days. I'll pick up some vitamins while I'm out. Can't hurt to give it a try.

I'm back

The last few days have been pretty hectic for me. Not enough time to get on the computer. My mother's guardianship hearing is over. It was a full day of testimony from several professionals. The jury deliberated for only about 30 minutes before giving their verdict. I was given full control over her and her estate. Umm..... What estate? She hasn't had anything for more than 5 years. Despite having nothing but Social Security income, that goes directly to the nursing home, she doesn't have anything at all. I had to get a $12,000 bond insurance anyway. Even the judge said he didn't think it necessary but it's required by law. It's equal to the amount of her SS for one year.

Next there was lots of paperwork for me to fill out and file with the hall of records. I was also given several forms to fill out and file with the court each month along with some to get filed within two weeks.

So? What's the point of a new guardianship when I was already her guardian and power of attorney? Well, the old one was limited. The new one is complete (full). Now if she is sent out of state to another facility I have the power to choose for her. I also have the power to control her medical treatments. I was doing this already but now I can show I have the papers for it.

I did get the other quilt stabelized then took it off the machine. I got this one stabelized yesterday. I haven't a clue how I'm going to quilt it yet. A little stand and stare time should give me some ideas.

I'm still waiting for my new flooring to arrive. I was told it takes a couple of weeks for it to get delivered after it's ordered. The cool days have reminded me I need to get my window quilts made. I'll just do a quick panto on some white fabric just to get the windows covered. Right now it's more important to keep the heat in than get creative.

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I have a busy day ahead of me again so I best get started.

Necktie quilts & other stuff

My brother got out of the hospital yesterday afternoon. After a little while with him, having a late lunch, it was time to get back to the business of quilting.

The necktie circles are done. Oops! They are smaller than I originally planned. Only a couple of inches smaller but this leaves a lot of blank space in the background. I have a stove burner cover on the center because this will be the pattern guide for cutting the centers. I'll need to talk with the owner before I go further on these.




I really, really, really need to get some things done this week. Not just quilting.... other things have been put on hold for several days and now must be dealt with. Phone calls to make. Some to return, some are required before my mother's court date. The refrigerator stinks... needs cleaning. Laundry to be done.... by hand. Sheets and quilts are the hardest to do.

One thing has made me feel guilty over the past week. I didn't get back to the fair with the other grand kids. I'm glad I was able to help my brother; yet, it took away from the plans I had made to spend with my sons and their families. My sons said they understood. Even though my sons never complain when I cancel our plans; I can't help but think maybe they feel cheated of my time. Heck, I even feel cheated of my own time. I have very little time to call my own. I guess I best get to work. Nothing will get done if I'm sitting at the computer.

Another fair day

This daughter has 3 kids. One is in the very back of the stroller, barely visible.




This daughter has one child.... Ladybug.

There is so much to see and so much to do for little kids.

The rides are the most fun.

The littlest ones wait patiently while the older ones ride. Guess who gets to watch the little ones while everyone is on the rides.

More rides and more rides.

Finally the little ones get their turn on a ride. Can you see the excitement?

The other little one is not so sure about this rideing thing.

I saw some little kids who screamed to get off as soon as the ride started. My grands screamed to stay on the rides. Especially Ladybug. She absolutely had a fit because she had to get off the merry go round. It's a good thing that a home version of a merry go round isn't made and sold in Walley world. (smile) Santa might just be tempted to take one down the chimney.

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Taking the grands to the fair is just as much fun as seeing Christmas excitement. Nothing is quite like buying lots of ride tickets and junk food for the grands. Ten minutes after we got in the car to go home every grand was sound asleep.... no doubt dreaming of riding more rides and eating more junk food. Hopefully to remember the fair fun they had with NaNa when they are older.

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Two more sets of grands waiting for their day at the fair. It's much easier for me to keep up with everyone if each group goes on a different day. I get to see each child enjoy their time.

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Today though I must get some quilty stuff done.

Choices, choices

Here's the problem..... blogger gives each blog a maximum of 500 photo spots on Picasa. Free with the blog. I think its per blog, I'm not sure. Over the past 3 1/2 years of writing this blog I've used up the amount of spots with all the photos of quilts I've done. I like using lots of pictures so others can see the different designs done on the quilts and in what area. Photos say much more than I could simply write in words. I could write that I did a leaf design in a triangle but somehow it just doesn't quite tell the story as well as a picture of the design on the quilt.

Options? I could do as blogger suggests and get a paid subscription to Picasa to get more photo spaces. I already have a paid subscription to webshots. I would have to close the webshots account and get my photos from there before they disappear. Picasa costs a few dollars more.

I could delete the oldest posts from this blog which would free up photo spaces. I think? I'm not sure about that until I give it a try. I don't think many people go back to read the earliest posts or look at those photos. I can print out (or put onto a disk) the earliest pages and keep them for my kids to read someday. That was the intent when I first started my blog. To record and journal my activities for my descendants and at the same time help fellow machine quilters.

I can continue to write my blog without photos but include a link to the pictures in webshots until I run out of space there. This would require readers to click and visit the photos but read the blog here.

I can start another blog with a whole new set of 500 free photos. Eventually this blog would be deleted by blogger for inactivity. Blogs that are not active get deleted in a short amount of time. What would I call the new blog? I'd have to think of a new name. I could reverse the name I have for this blog. I think that would work. A new blog would mean that I would have to change my membership of the blog lists I belong to.

I had hoped to start including more videos in future blog posts after I retire. I'm not sure how blogger handles videos. Whether each video is considered one photo spot or something else. I can't seem to find this information.

I could create a web site instead of a simple blog. It would cost money that I'm not prepared to pay when my funds are very limited.

So these seem to be my options for now. I can't think of any others. Anyone have any suggestions?

I'm going to delete some of my oldest posts this morning just to see if it frees up photo space. Then I'm going to look through blogger to see if I can find information about other options.

9 and 1/2 to go?

Awww.... gee whiz.... just when I thought I was going to make ends meet.... somebody done gone and moved the ends.

My washer and my dryer have died. The dryer a couple of weeks ago. The washer today. Hmm, I can honestly say I did get my money's worth out of them. I paid $50 each about 9 years ago. Bought them at a yard sale.

I was all set to wash a bunch of winter clothes and store them away. Then I was going to wash a bunch of neckties to be used in 3 memory quilts. My washer said... no way and proceeded to burn up it's motor. Luckily, it didn't catch on fire. It just filled the house up with a LOT of smoke. Now I have to figure out what to do about a washer. Right after I hand wring out all the water from the clothes that are still in there.

Well anyway, this quilt is finished. It's a small one.




I did a feather design on all the corners. I think this is going to be a cushion cover. I'm guessing because of the cut out corners.

I wanted to try some faux trapunto and this was a simple design.

This looks a little more complicated but wasn't difficult.

I did simple lines on the blue area. I started to do more feathers but the first ones (on the corners) didn't show up so I switched.

This quilt is back on the machine. I had stabilized it then took it off the machine so I could talk to the owner about it. I tried to convince the owner that she might want to fix the pictures before I finish quilting it. No, she wants it quilted like it is even if the photos don't stay on there. I'm not quilting the photos.... but they are peeling off already. It's a lot of money to put into a quilt that won't last long enough to get dirty. Ok, she's the owner and knows what she wants.... so that's what I'm gonna do. I think I'll do some pretty designs so that it will still look nice after the pictures peel off.

I spent most of today cleaning out my bedroom closet. Doing some spring cleaning I couldn't get done earlier this year as well as starting to ready stuff for winter. I figure if I start the fall stuff now, I might get it done just in time for winter.