Quality vs Quantity of life

An update on my mother.  Yesterday I had a meeting with her doctor and the nursing home staff.  The years and years of living with strong anti-psychotic medications along with tons of other medications have started taking a toll on her physically.  I had to make a decision about her care which I really didn't want to do. 

The medications are basically killing her.  A combination of several medications over a long lifetime is a lethal cocktail of poisons to the muscles and organs of the body.  Mom takes 5 or 6 anti-psychotic medications along with medications for diabetes, Parkinson's, and other things.  In all, I believe there are about 40 medications she takes every day.

Mom has been on anti-psychotic meds for about 40 or 50 years.  She started taking medications way back in the days when mental patients went through horrible medical things.  Shock treatments and experimental medications were normal back then.  Many mental patients were locked away in asylums and treated like animals back then.  My mother was lucky in that she was never left in places like that for longer than a few months. 

I recently told you she had slipped into the next phase of her dementia and altzeimers mentally but now she's slipping more on the physical side as well.  Her kidneys are shutting down and her bones have become very brittle.  She's also loosing weight at an alarming rate. 

I could have her taken off some of the medications which would stop the lethal trouble temporarily.  Doing this she would become so paranoid that life would be miserable for her.  The staff kept her off the meds for a couple of days and my mother started seeing snakes and other monsters which was miserable for her.  She spent her time huddled in a corner of the day room too scared to move.   No way could anyone coax her to go to bed because there were "snakes in her radiator".  It was actually the heating element hissing steam around a pipe.  I had the maintenance man seal the leak and told my mother he was killing the snakes for her. 

The doctors asked me to make the decision about whether to withhold her medications or not and to sign a DNR (do not resuscitate) order.  I chose to give her quality of life rather than quantity.  Keeping her on the medications may shorten her life but the time she has will be much nicer.  Who would want to live a longer time only to be too scared to move all the time? 

There is also the problem of her brittle bones.  If she was to have a heart attack, the CPR would kill her.  Just the act of compressing the chest to do CPR would break her ribs.  If she were to stop breathing, putting a tube into her throat to help her breath could tear her throat tissue and cause bleeding.  She takes blood thinners to prevent blood clots.  Taking blood thinners means she would bleed to death from trying to save her life. 

Choosing to sign a DNR is an extremely stressful decision.  I didn't want to be the one making this decision but someone had to do it.  It was especially sad seeing my mother after making the decision to sign the papers.  She was like a child sitting in a wheelchair, with a bib on, begging me to take her home with me.  I'm sure she is aware of her physical condition and is scared.   I did what I could to comfort and reassure her that she would be fine.  It was a very long walk to the exit door with her pleading behind me to not leave her there.

I don't know how much time my mother has left.  It could be days or it could be weeks or if we are lucky it could even be years.  I plan to spend as much time with her as I can.   I can't stop the inevitable but I can do something to make the end a little more comforting.  I can ask her to say hello to my sons when she gets to heaven.

Ok, it's time for me to get away from this sad topic.  Time to go clean, or cook, or quilt, or organize.... something to get myself out of this depressed mood.  Why do sad things always happen to me at Christmas?

Two more quilted

This one got finished first.  I had a bit of trouble thinking of what to quilt on it.  It's golf themed so I tried doing golf balls and tees.  Those didn't come out looking like what they were supposed to be.  I switched to tried and true designs for masculine quilts. 

Flying geese on the inside border and line dancing on the pieced squares.

Loops can pass for golf balls flying around all over the place on the snow ball blocks.

Repeat the design on the inside border to carry the design.  More flying geese on the outside border to also carry the design through the quilt.

This one is also finished.  It was a tough one.  It has never seen an iron.  I had to fight with it a bit until I got it conquered and somewhat square.  I'm glad I'm not the one going to be putting a binding on it.  Whew.

The customer wanted stars on it.  The loops were to help me tame it.

View of another section. 

This quilt started out like this. 

It has more than it's fair share of issues which is why it needed the loops.  Loops mean I can skip around the difficult issues without damaging it or my machine.... or my dignity. 

The star centers are not pieced, they are very loosely appliqued.  Many were coming loose or were not sewn in the first place.  Hmm.... I mean sewn but did not get attached as the needle went through.

Majority of the stars looked like this one.  I've said it before and it bears repeating as many times as required...... to improve your piecing, learn to iron.  Every time a seam is sewn, iron it before sewing the next seam.  Pressing the seams show where there is a problem.  Don't just continue to sew and compound the errors.  If you start off right, press at every step, and fix problems as they occur, you can make a perfect quilt every time.  So let me repeat it again..... if you want to create a perfect quilt, learn to iron every seam as it is sewn. 

I have one more quilt to finish for this year.  Yippie!  This means I still have time for some ME projects.  I'm going to work on the one remaining quilt starting Monday.  The rest of today and tomorrow is for some major house keeping in the studio.  The dust bunnies have been very frolicked lately.  They've multiplied just like bunnies do.   It's time to weed out the dust bunny herd and donate a few to the land fill. 

I'm still working on improving my helpful hints blog.  I've gone through over half of them and chosen which page to list the links.  Now if only I could get the computer to cooperate with me.  I think it's my mouse gone bad.   What can I do with a rougue mouse?  I'll deal with him until I can get a replacement. 

Kitchen weekend

With a trip to the farmer's market on Thursday and a grocery shopping trip on Friday I knew the weekend would be filled with chores in the kitchen.  I moved my disk player to near my work area in order to listen to some books.

Furkid Dylan said oh, oh, Mommie's is in the kitchen, let me get close enough to catch the falling bits of food.  He drags his blanket to near my feet and gets comfortable.

I get busy cleaning and freezing greens.

I move on to doing corn on the cob.

Then make some home made ground beef for the freezer too.  Love the grinder attachment for my Kitchen aid!

Moving on I cleaned and flash froze a whole bunch of grapes.  No time for making juice or jelly.  I do like frozen grapes as a snack treat now and then.

Then I got busy making some butter.  Love the mixer even more!

What's the good of having fresh made butter if there's no fresh bread to eat?  I made bread too.

The sewing machine guy picked up the singer machine to work on it.  I could probably have worked on it myself but I'd rather leave it to the professional.  He said he could have it back to me by Christmas if not sooner.  I hope to have the cabinet all cleaned up and ready by the time the singer comes home. 

I decided to let him take the serger too.  It's better for machines to get a yearly tune up to keep them in good working order.  I figure if I'm going to be using this machine alot then it should get it's first tune up now.  He's going to see if he can get me an instruction book too.

It was a very busy and productive weekend.  I'm glad I took the time to preserve my harvest even if it came from the grocery instead of a back yard garden.  Today I'm back at work at the quilting machine.  I'll finish what I can before Ladybug arrives.  Hmm... there's a ton of dirty pots and pans that need to be washed too.  Oh, and more greens to be done.  A lady's work is never done!

You know, the more I think about it, the more I like my semi-retired schedule.  It feels more normal, natural, and happy.  I'm more relaxed than I've been in years.  My mind is no longer in a constant panic state worrying about getting "just one more" quilt done.  Yup, I like it.

Semi-retired?

My weekend was filled with non-quilting things that really needed getting done.  I had an abundance of eggs to deal with thanks to a generous neighbor.  I froze some and dehydrated some.

I had some boxes of cereal that I decided to grind up with my new grinder attachment.  Now I have cereal crumbs that can be used as extenders in recipes.  I can also use these as coating mixes just like using bread crumbs.  One is sweet and the other is savory. 

Next there was the abundance of cheese getting close to the use by date.  I froze some and started dehydrating some. 

Hmm.... more food that needed to be preserved.  I dehydrated some and froze some onions that were starting to show signs of softening.

Decided that I would need bread this week.  Made a couple of loaves.   Made a bread pudding too.  Then made 6 pie crusts to put into the freezer.  Hmm... did I tell ya I love the new mixer?  How on earth did I get along without it for so many years?  Geeze, now I'm spoiled.

Then I worked on the window quilts some more.  I got all the edges finished.  I decided there was no need for a regular quilt binding.  Functional is better than fancy.  These are not contest quilts.... they are quilts to keep my windows warm.  My house doesn't care if the quilt edges are zig-zagged closed.  The weather is getting closer to winter.  I need these finished and installed in the next week or two. 

I do have the next quilt on the machine.  Today I will get it stabilized and decide on a quilting design.  Giggle.... yes, sometimes it does seem like I'm still quilting full time instead of semi-retired.  This time of year the machine quilter lists grow more silent because the professional quilters are in full swing with the Christmas rush.  Many of those won't have time for doing what I've done over the weekend.  A couple of years ago I would have given away or thrown away the eggs, cheese, and onions because there simply wouldn't be enough time to deal with them this time of year.  I would never have had the time to bake my own bread unless it was with the bread machine.  The customer quilts would take first priority over life happenings.  Only another professional machine quilter can understand the need for finishing just one more quilt, to make just one more customer happy before Christmas.  AND..... how it feels to be working Christmas Eve so the last of the quilts can be picked up for giving as gifts the next day while your own family is having fun without you.  For me.... never again.  Yes, I am semi-retired.  I have time for life again.  I sincerely hope you have time for life too.

Monday already?

 On Wednesday afternoon I was starting to feel kind of yucky.  Thursday and Friday I spent in bed with a sort of cold or allergy like symptoms.  Headache, muscle aches, sneezing, watery itchy eyes, and just feeling really tired. 

Saturday was the big yard sale at my daughter's house.  That was a big flop.  Lots of yard sales, lots of people out shopping, no one was really buying anything.  Most just looked and went to the next house where they looked and moved on again.  I made a whopping 75 cents and my daughter got about twenty dollars.  You know the economy is bad when even yard sales don't do much in sales.  Especially kids clothes. 

Yesterday I felt well enough to bake a couple of loaves of bread.  No bread machine this time.  Good old fashioned kneading by hand.... well almost.  The mixing was done with my Kitchen aide and the dough hook.  Yea!  I love that machine.  I finished the kneading after the mixing was done.  These loaves are truly a whole lot different than bread made in a bread machine.  These turned out as light and fluffy as store bought.  Bread baked in a machine has a hard crust but these don't.  I think I'll be developing some arm muscles before long.  I just know I'm gonna be making more bread this way.

Of course I had to eat some for supper.  Then the rest got sliced and put away.  One loaf for the freezer.  It's hard to tell from the photo but these loaves are smaller than a normal loaf.  That's because there's only me so a large loaf is not necessary.  I cut a one loaf recipe in half after kneading so it would make two smaller loaves. 

Then I made two meat loaves.  One for dinner, one for the freezer.  I've rested and feel much better.  Today I hope to answer some emails, put away the leftover yard sale stuff, then get back onto the quilting machine for the rest of the day. 

Nightmare

A few days ago, for the first time in probably 40 years, my bank account went to zero balance.  I call the phone number every week to verify what has cleared the bank.  It tells me the purchase amounts and dates.  Strange.... I know I have been depositing money to cover my purchases but not spending any.  So where was the money?  Well, now I know.  I got my bank statement which had some strange purchases.  I don't know what the stuff is and sent to places I've never heard of.  I evidently visited overseas and made purchases while I was there and had the stuff sent to my friends houses. 

 Hmm.... I must really be getting senile because I don't remember traveling to Bo velrus or Gazetu Vezda or Minsk by.  How did I get to those places?  I certainly didn't fly there.  Why would I buy contact lenses when I don't wear them or use any of the other weird things a little old lady quilter never heard of?   Cyber space really is something isn't it?  We can travel to all kinds of places without even knowing it.

So it seems I've become a victim of online credit card fraud.  What's really strange is that I only make online purchases through either Paypal or Amazon with my Paypal account.  All other credit card purchases are either by phone or in person.  I order batting by phone.  I buy groceries and carry out food in person.    Either someone has found a way to get into paypal or someone local is a part of the credit card fraud ring.  The thieves had the right card number but the wrong expiration date and wrong 3 digit number.  But it was accepted for online purchases anyway.

It's going to be a very big headache for me.  I've called the bank fraud line.  They've stopped all transactions on that card and are sending me a new one.  They are sending paperwork for me to fill out.  I was told it's going to be a very long process before I can get my money back.  Every purchase has to be verified as either fraud or legitimate before any action can be taken to give me the money back. 

O crap!!  The thieves got the Christmas money for the grand kids.  Unless I can get the paperwork mess straightened out in time.  Ok Anita, slow down and think this thing through.  Some of my customers haven't picked up their quilts yet.  There's also a couple of months before Christmas left so maybe I can get more quilting work finished.    Gotta have faith.  I CAN do this! 

When all else fails.... ask my brother for a loan.  I've given him several Christmas loans over the years.  It will be his turn this year.  Whew.... that wasn't so bad after slowing down to really think about it a bit.  Now all I can do is wait.  Wait for paperwork and wait for this whole mess to get straightened out. 

Window quilts quilted

I finished quilting 12 window quilts.  This is a photo of 9 of them before the sun went down and I lost the natural light.  I seem to take better photos when using natural light.

Now I need to finish the edges and install them.  Why white fabric instead of pretty colors?  Well, as I get older I find I need more light to see.  White reflects light.  That's why I have white walls in the studio. 

I seemed to have started a craving for pizza with the pizza picture.  Hmm..... maybe it's the time of year for pizza cravings.  Changes in the weather do trigger thoughts of certain foods. 

Now that I've got the window quilts quilted, I need to get a customer quilt on the machine for today. 

Got it stabilized

Well, it's finally stabilized.  Its a cross stitched whole cloth.  Many people don't realize that the cross stitch kits are actually supposed to be layered before the cross stitching is done.   The stitching is supposed to make a reversible quilt.  The stitching is supposed to be the quilting too.  The faint lines of the background design are supposed to be running stitches.  Down at one dot, back up at the next.  In all my years as a professional machine quilter, I've never seen a cross stitch quilt done properly.  Umm..... maybe that's why?  If done properly there'd be no need to take it to a quilter so it's not going to be brought to me.

I went around all the flowers with clear thread and now I plan to follow the markings to do the background with white thread. 

I won't be finishing this one this weekend.  I plan to go through more things to get ready for the yard sale.  I may not get a chance to post over the weekend.  It will depend on whether I get a lot done or not. 

My daughter likes to watch scary movies.  Lots of scary movies.  Well, for me, all I have to do is turn on the news to get scared.  If I really want to get the crap scared out of me, I do an internet search.  Geeze..... it's enough to make me want to buy some depends.  The tv news tells of wars and murder and natural disasters.  I can handle that... a little.  BUT an internet search is absolutely heart pounding sometimes.  If I read too much it would drive me bonkers.  Don't believe me?  Try a search of your own.  Use these key words.....  sustainable living or emergency preparedness or economic crisis.  If you are like me; you'll get sights like how to train a hawk to gather your food, how to use fire arms to defend your home and where to store the ammunition, and storing a year supply of fuel in your house.  Now THAT'S scary.  The wrong kind of spark and there'd be no more need for the family to keep fuel. 

Ok, now that I've scared myself quite enough for one computer session, it's time to start sorting and organizing for the yard sale. 

It was a holiday.... not supposed to work on holidays..... daughter took me to go to her house for the day so I wouldn't be tempted to work.  Lots of food.  Lots of  people.  Great fun.  They had a nice little kickball game going until the ball landed in the tree.  Someone climbed the tree to get it and the game resumed.  Glad I went instead of continuing to work.

I had to repeatedly tell myself that working on a holiday weekend is not right.  I semi-retired so I wouldn't be working myself to death anymore.  Although I was very tempted to stay on the quilting machine, I took some time to do other things like making new pot holders and place mats.  Quilt type fabric of course.  Started organizing my household manager binder and cooked some things for the freezer.

Yesterday I went back to work like everyone else.  Eee gads!  For some reason I kept getting long stretches of skipped stitches.  Like 4 or 5 inches of skipped stitches.  Most of the day was spent cleaning, oiling, and adjusting my gammill before Ladybug arrived.  I believe I have the problem worked out so today I'll work on getting the next quilt stabilized.  There was a lot of hidden lint built up around the bobbin shaft, where the bobbin race moves.  Once I cleaned this out the machine was fine. 

What is this

It's totally unrelated to quilting but what kind of creature would create this type of nest?  Anyone know?  I'm afraid to find out.  It has what appears to be a hole dug into the wood of my house.  It also has webs in a tunnel shape.  Spiders don't dig holes in wood do they?  Wood digging creatures don't usually make webs do they?  It's very strange.  I'm afraid to disturb it because this type of creature might run faster than me.  I may not be able to get away fast enough.  I'm going to buy some all purpose bug killer with a long range spray.  Spray it and run like crazy. 

It's been too difficult to get onto my computer the last few days.  The quilt I was working on is down to the last border of quilting.  I think I posted that it had 5 borders but that's not true.  It has only 4.  Another "DUH" mistake on my part.  One border is a fool your eyes border.  A stripe fabric that my eyes see as two borders even when I know it's only one piece of fabric.  I've had several of those "DUH" mistakes the last few days. 

Now that the fair is over, my life usually settles down into a regular routine for the rest of the year.  The fair is a sort of mental signal that my summer activities are over and it's time for preparing to hunker down for the winter.  I'm hoping life settles for me again this year too.  Never know though.  Just when I think everything is ok and going smoothly.... something happens. 

Look at this

I have the next quilt stabilized but I've not had a chance to work on it yet.  I've been busy turning these

into this.  It's hard to believe that 16+ pounds of tomatoes went into this little pint jar.  I guessed as how much to use when cooking with them. 

I also did 8 pounds of apples.

Then 5 pounds of potatoes.  Curled up dried potatoes take more space to store.

On to 4 gallon of cherries from my backyard tree which I had in the freezer. 

Up until I retired I didn't have time for things like this.  I was far too busy quilting to take the time to peel, slice, and preserve anything.  Life is so much better now that I'm not working 12 to 16 hours a day.  Can you see me smiling?

Today there is a lady coming over to learn how to make a t-shirt quilt.  We will probably be busy all day.  Tomorrow I have an appointment which is likely to take most of that day.  Looks like Friday will be the first chance I get to do more quilting.  Hmm..... I guess I best work a little faster on finishing my fair entries.  It's not that far away.  Then again, it doesn't matter if I finish or not.  I enter the fair because I like to.... not because I have to.  The fair is fun whether I have anything in it or not. 

Away all day

My daughter had her first yard sale yesterday so I was there all day.  She did pretty good for no advertising and not many items to sell.   She just put out some signs on posts the day before.

She found out the neighborhood has a community yard sale twice a year so next time she might do better.  The next one is in September. 

She asked me if I knew what these little things in her mulch were.  I don't know.  I've never seen them before but apparently they are some type of mushroom.  It's a good thing Ladybug is not too adventurous.  I'm afraid these are poisonous.  I think next spring my daughter should replace the mulch with rock or something that won't be dangerous.

I was surprised I spent the whole day outside despite the heat.  I could have gone inside if I had wanted but I really didn't feel uncomfortable setting on the porch where it was shady.  I got to meet several of her neighbors.  It's really a nice neighborhood.  I sure wish my neighborhood was half as nice.

Life away from quilting

The quilt on the machine is almost finished but I need a day for other things.  The quilting design has lots of stops and starts.  A friend brought me these yesterday.  Today I want to get them cut up and preserved in some way.  I'm not sure if I want to can, freeze, or dry them.  I just don't want to let them go to waste.  That could happen if I don't take the time necessary to do something with them.  Quilting will have to wait.

I also got this in the mail a couple of days ago.  It came from a customer in SC.  I immediately sat down to eat some of it.  Yummie! 

I've been working on some posts for my hints blog and my cardboard blog.  Writing takes time.  Doing the steps in order to take the photos takes time.  Time not spent quilting.  That means less to post about on this blog.  I'm about to get my day started.  I'll post photos of the finished quilt probably tomorrow.  Providing I get a few things around the house done first.

My daughter called me yesterday to say she finally got around to reading my hints blog.  She says she knew, but I don't believe she realized for certain, that mom has a sense of humor when she writes.  She told me she even sent the link to her friends to read it.  Thanks babygirl!